Being Present Matters More Than Saying the Perfect Thing
We’re always on the lookout for stories that shine a light on the real, human side of caring for or supporting someone with cancer—and this NPR piece, “The best support for a friend with cancer? Presence, listening and space to vent,” does exactly that. Through real-world stories and thoughtful insights, it explores what genuine support can look like—and where well-meaning efforts sometimes fall short.
Here are a few key takeaways we appreciated:
Do reach out, even if you’re feeling tongue-tied. If reaching out feels intimidating, remember: the person with cancer is facing something even scarier. What they need most is connection and presence.
Ask and listen instead of talking. Sometimes the best way to show up is by sitting with discomfort. A simple “Do you want to talk about it?” can mean more than you think.
Skip the comparisons and platitudes. Phrases like “You’ve got this” or “Stay positive” may be meant to encourage—but they can land as dismissive. Let people feel what they’re feeling.
Be specific in your offers of help. “Let me know how I can help” puts the burden back on them. Try: “I’m free Thursday—can I drop off dinner or run an errand?”
Keep showing up after treatment ends. Recovery is often ongoing. Your support is still needed long after the cancer is gone.
The full article dives deeper into each of these points, and it’s well worth a read. Because while supporting someone through cancer can be emotionally complex, it’s also one of the most meaningful ways to show up in someone’s life.
