The Small Gestures We Remember in Times of Grief
In a recent The New York Times column, The Small Gestures That Help Us Navigate Grief, writer Jancee Dunn explores how small, thoughtful actions can make a profound difference for people navigating loss. Drawing on the perspective of Matthew Fleming, a longtime chaplain and psychologist, along with hundreds of reader responses, the article reinforces a simple truth: support doesn’t have to be complicated to be meaningful.
Here are a few of the themes we recognized from the reader responses:
Taking action removes the burden of asking.
Several stories highlight how helpful it is when someone steps in without questions. Cleaning a bathroom. Putting food in front of someone who forgot to eat. These moments matter because grief often robs people of the energy to articulate what they need.
Ongoing, low-pressure check-ins go a long way.
A simple emoji text. A shared memory. A short walk outside. These gestures don’t demand a response, yet they remind grieving people they are still held in someone else’s thoughts—especially on the quiet days when the world seems to move on too quickly.
Grief isn’t linear, and that’s okay.
One reader captured it perfectly: grief comes in waves. There is no timeline, no “by now.” Understanding this can help both grievers and their supporters show more compassion, patience, and grace.
Together, these themes remind us that support doesn’t need to be grand, it just needs to be steady, human, and real. The full article explores these ideas in greater depth through lived experiences and expert perspectives. It’s a thoughtful reminder that showing up for caregivers and loved ones doesn’t require special training.
